Alright, so I'm not the most proficient or witty of writers, but I definitely enjoy composing and writing up a good story. But sadly, and I'm sure most of you are noticing the pattern by now, I twist things so they have a spiritual or beneficial spin on them and make a point. I trust I don't ever (well hardly ever) post a post simply to say something I did. In my humble opinion, that is ridiculous!
Okay, now moving onto my story. So, my boss at work and I have recently decided to ask each other challenging and deep questions. The first one stemmed when she sidled up to me and said, "So, when are you going to get a wife?" My response was (and please envision the accompanying sweeping motion with my arm...as if I'm snatching a fish out of the water), "Oh yeah, I just need to go out and 'get' one!"
What followed was a meaningful discussion on where I'm coming from relationally. Yes, at some point I would like to develop a relationship with a young lady, but so far God has not opened up that avenue of ministry. We bantered back and forth for a little while, and then she asked me, "So what happens if you marry the wrong person and are stuck for the rest of your life? Are you simply going to be miserable for the rest of your life?" (well now, imagine being smacked between the eyes with some a baseball bat! Now picture yourself trying to answer those questions). My answer was, "Yes, I'd have to deal with it and life would go on." But I also attempted to make it clear to her that I wasn't ever going to put myself in that position until I was pretty sure of who was the right one for me. That, in my opinion, is the glory and benefit of courtship/dating. You get to know somebody, ask them questions, and iron out issues before saying the proverbial "I do".
I told her my only recourse, and this would be very slight, due to my religious convictions, would be if there was unfaithfulness on the part of my spouse. Then I MIGHT, be able to slip out of the marriage. At this point another co-worker chimed in with, "O I've been through that, twice in fact!" (baseball bat has now been upgraded to metal bat...boy this is getting good). After chatting a little more, both co-workers decided that it would be much safer and a whole lot better for me if I simply 'dated with benefits.' I said I couldn't do that, and let the matter fall. But my boss had really gotten me to think (one of the small side benefits of doing the same thing all day...some recourse to tackle deeper life issues). I finally formulated my thoughts and marched down to her office in order to better explain myself and where I was coming from.
I told her I thought the premise of how she was looking at marriage was flawed. By her own word choice she had indicated to me that to her, happiness was paramount to a successful marriage, and not anything else. That is not how I view marriage, and what I continued to explain to her. Now, I certainly want to be happy, and trust that marriage will add an element of happiness and enjoyment to my life, but it is by no means the 'end-all'. Marriage is not so much what I can get out of the relationship, but instead what I can GIVE to the relationship. It is one of a servant attitude and spirit. Yes, there are times when I'm going to be selfish and want my own way, but generally it needs to be a relationship where I put the others interests ahead of my own. (these are sure some grand words, and yes, I know I still need to put them into action for them to have any real merit...famous last words and all that). And so, by me choosing to put my spouses interests ahead of my own, even if I thought perhaps I had made the wrong choice, I was still going to be happy because my foundation was correctly laid. Instead of happiness from my spouse, I receive happiness by serving and sacrificing for my spouse.
I think this whole thought process was a bit of a shock for my boss. She was impressed! Recently she had gone through a rough patch in her own life and she seemed as if she wished she had that kind of attitude in her own relationship (well, maybe she wished her husband had the same kind of attitude as I expressed..chuckle) who knows. But this discussion reminded me of how barren relationships can be without Jesus. Without God, you have to physically MAKE THINGS WORK! There's nobody to fall back on, there is no place to hide, and there is no place to run. With Jesus in our lives though, we shouldn't be allowed to 'run' from our issues in the sense of not facing them, but we do have Someone who cares enough to be intimately involved in our lives and help smooth things over. Human brokenness is human brokenness. We can't escape it, but we can run to the One who can help. Trusting each one of you will!
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