So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately (one of the major benefits of my current job) and I felt like throwing a question out there. Now I'm thinking about friendships, relationships, and interactions with people; So that is a where this thought is stemming from. You ready?
How much risk is taken when you are genuine with people? I'm talking about genuine, as in, you're not afraid to say, "Hey my day has really stunk!" when somebody asks you how you are doing, instead of the proverbial, "Fine" when all hell is about to break loose in your day. It's risky, I know. And I've come to believe there is a good deal of risk involved. Being genuine means you let down your guard and show some sort of vulnerability. The mask of self-sufficiency comes off, and you allow somebody else to see the real you. Combined with that there is definitely an element of the 'fear of rejection' involved. "What if I'm too genuine, and make a fool of myself" or "I'll be they can't handle the REAL me" may be some of the thoughts that run through your mind. But ultimately, you have to realize you can't control the minds and emotions of other people. Truth-be-told you can't accurately predict others reactions or feelings 100% of the time.
Another thing about being genuine is the 'give and take' nature of that arrangement. You can't be genuine with somebody else, and then simply turn it off when they try and be genuine back. You have to actually care about what the other person is saying, feeling, thinking. You have to ask questions to try and understand what is going on. That there might be the very reason why there aren't as many genuine people in the world as their should be. Because it takes WORK to be genuine and quite honestly, pain. Pain of rejection, pain in trying something new, pain in actually caring and sometimes getting burned because you do care... But it is neat to see that as you are genuine with others, there is a bond of friendship and trust that develops. People will then talk to you about their struggles or their frustrations. So with being genuine comes a lot of responsibility.
So I definitely try and be genuine with others, but I'm struggling myself to understand their trust in me. I mean, people share some pretty darn deep stuff with me, and I'm a bit awe-struck and blown away by their trust. Yet, I know that by telling me, it is doing them some good. I guess this is the pinnacle of counselors struggles. How much do you take upon yourself? And how much do you simply leave at the office? In scripture though, we are admonished to bear one anothers burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ. But I guess it doesn't say bear their burdens 'all the way home' which can be comforting.
So I guess the ultimate answer to my original question is, a lot. It takes a lot of risk both in order to reap the benefits as well as the pain of interacting with others. God gave us relationships but how we use them is up to us. How much risk are you taking in you relationships?