Hello Friends,
I thought I would share the paper I wrote late in the Fall of 2012. This was a requirement for the Human Sexuality course I took that Fall and as part of my Marriage & Family Counseling Masters. It was meant to be written in APA format (and I did my best to follow those guidelines).
*Please be aware the content is not appropriate for younger audiences. I do not go into extremely graphic detail, but the paper examined Pornography and whether or not Pastors have a greater propensity towards developing an addiction towards this insidious epidemic.*
PORNOGRAPHY’S IMPACT ON
PASTORS: INCREASING AWARENESS
Pornography’s
Impact on Pastors: Increasing Awareness
Clyde
W. Sandford
Lancaster
Bible College
CPS
577
PORNOGRAPHY’S IMPACT ON
PASTORS: INCREASING AWARENESS
Abstract
This article examines the pitfalls of
pastoral ministry. The many stressors within church ministry may leave clergy
members searching for an escape from their responsibilities, with an increasing
number turning towards pornography. Pornography does not just impact the neural
circuitry of the brain. It also undermines the ministry of the pastor,
including his relationship with God, his family, and his parishioners.
Treatment for this increasing issue begins with accountability and a greater
willingness to express vulnerability from those in pastoral authority. Increasing
awareness will enable non-church leaders to take responsibility and support
their pastors more effectively.
Introduction
Before the inception of the United States, pornography
was seen as detrimental to society and prohibited. As early as 1712, the colony
of Massachusetts sought to prevent pornographic material from being distributed
(Melton & Ward, 1989). Limiting pornography was not successful, but as more
information becomes available, the caustic effects of pornography may
precipitate additional ways of exploring how those effects may be countered and
who is affected. Pornography is very lucrative. In fact, it is a multi-billion
dollar industry with revenue estimates reaching $57 billion worldwide.
Approximately one-fifth of that is consumed within the United States (Struthers,
2009). Pornography targets men as its’ main consumer with pastors sharing the
same purity struggles as any other man. Pastors may even be more vulnerable
towards developing an addiction to pornography than the average man. According
to Rediger (2003) “After many years of studying spiritual roles and providing
pastoral counseling and training to the human beings who are trying to be
effective pastors, nothing concerns me more for the future of faithful pastoring
than the availability of cybersex.” The unique role of clergy increases their
vulnerability towards pornography.
One estimate pegs as much as twenty-five percent of
clergy as guilty of sexual sin, of which, pornography may be a leading
aggressor (Rediger, 2003). Until recently, most pastors would have been above
suspicion for sexual misconduct. Unfortunately, no individual is beyond the grasp
of pornography. Pornography use and sexual misconduct can be visible for those
willing to pay attention to the presenting signs (Rediger, 2003). This paper
addresses the vulnerabilities within pastoring
as it relates to pornographic addictions as well as presenting hope for their
treatment and recovery.
Pornography
Within our sex saturated culture the presence of
pornography is almost everywhere we look. The consistent presence of
pornography leads to a consumer mentality when it comes to viewing the female
body. This mentality shifts how men view women. Whether we realize it or not,
the neural circuitry of how we view others is changed through the repeated
exposure to pornography, thus making pornography more dangerous than some may
think (Struthers, 2009). Human sexuality, the object which pornography targets,
is so much more than a mere physical act. It is a blending of two complete
individuals (Hollinger, 2009). Pornography attempts to mimic the powerful expression
of love and intimacy felt between two individuals, but through a
two-dimensional image one can walk away from with no strings attached.
The definition of pornography begins with an examination
of the word. Porne, from which the word
pornography is taken, is a Greek word
meaning “female captives” or “prostitutes” (Struthers, 2009). Pornography has
since evolved into an activity bereft of involvement with another human being.
A more modern definition of pornography is supplied by the U.S. Supreme court, “1)
the dominant theme appeals to prurient interest; 2) it is offensive in
affronting contemporary community standards: and 3) it is utterly without
redeeming social value” (Melton & Ward, 1989).
As it relates to pornography, the definition of addiction
is debatable. In fact, both those in the psychological and medical professions
cannot come to a definite conclusion regarding whether internet pornography
should be categorized as a compulsive behavior or as an addiction (Laaser &
Gregoire, 2003). If pornography use were to be categorized as an addiction then
three criteria must be met. The first would be powerlessness when faced with
the opportunity to view pornography. The second would be viewing pornography
even though the individual knows his actions are detrimental to himself or
those around him. The third criterion is an exorbitant amount of time spent
thinking about pornography (Struthers, 2009). Addiction takes on additional
meaning when neurotransmitters within the brain are recognized. According to
Struthers (2009), “To be addicted to something is to release dopamine, which
causes you to want it and to make the decision to pursue it.” In the past, an
increase in a behavior over a period of two years was required before assigning
the label of a sex addiction, but the internet appears to have narrowed the gap
of time needed to assign that specification (Laaser & Gregoire, 2003). For
those who engage in pornography, there is deeper meaning.
The use of pornography can be traced back to the man’s
desire to manipulate and control with personal pleasure as the end goal (Balswick,
2008). Sadly, one of America’s greatest strengths is also a glaring weakness.
The focus on individuality which is celebrated in the United States is also a
causative factor in the development of an addiction to pornography. The needs
of the individual are then elevated, even at the cost to the community (Struthers,
2009). Pornography strikes at the brain of the individual. Visual stimulation
initiates a masturbatory response, which in turn leads to genital stimulation. This
act produces sexual euphoria generated from the release of opiates within the
brain, which is very pleasurable, finally triggering a desire to repeat the
process (Struthers, 2009). Oxytocin is another chemical present during a sexual
experience and is released when orgasm takes place, causing a bond between the
man and the woman to develop.
Release without the presence of a partner though may lead to the same
attachment developed towards an image, rather than a human being (Struthers,
2009). Mirror neurons within the brain heighten the sexual response to
pornography within men. When a man views pornography he is not merely watching
an image, but projecting himself into the image as the one participating in the
pornography. This neurological connection sends sexual signals to the brain,
demanding a release for the buildup of tension (Struthers, 2009). Norepinephrine
within the brain can be a great thing. This drug allows a freeze frame of
memory which heightens sexual tension and pleasure when sexual memories are
recalled. Pornography activates norepinephrine, embedding these images onto the
male brain. The pictures are then recalled even when uninvited during times of
sexual intimacy with one’s spouse. This can be a devastating effect of
pornography because those images cannot be erased (Struthers, 2009). Pornography
has exploded, due in part to the three A’s of accessibility, affordability, and
anonymity (Struthers, 2009). With the advent of the internet, pastors
especially can be susceptible to the draws of pornography due to the amount of
time they spend alone, the ease with which it can be viewed on a computer, and
the relatively low financial cost. Unfortunately, not all pastors spend their
lone hours preparing sermons; some hours are spent in pornography and
masturbation.
Pastors
Clergy have self-reported with an astounding 40% of
respondents admitting to a struggle with pornography (Laaser & Gregoire,
2003). This is an alarming statistic but due to how the male brain is visually
hardwired, some of this statistic may be expected (Struthers, 2009). Cybersex,
or pornography may seduce pastors more easily because pastors believe they can
keep this guilty pleasure
secret from all but their Creator (Rediger, 2003). The role itself, according
to Rediger (2003) provides plenty of opportunities for sexual mistakes. Pastors
can be placed on a pedestal by their parishioners who view their pastor as
perfect and as one who can do no wrong. The incredible respect they are afforded
combined with influence and access into the lives of those in their
congregation promotes inauthentic relationships thus isolating the pastor. A
pastor is never able to shake the façade of perceived perfection wherever he
goes. Whether in his own home, the community, or his parish, the expectation to
perform is never very far away (Rediger, 2003). This inability to make mistakes
sets the pastor up for failure because he is encouraged to live out a non-biblical
paradigm of his role. Though perhaps not glorying in one’s failures, a pastor
needs to have the freedom to make mistakes in public, without his salvation
being called into question by shocked parishioners who may witness such an
error. After all, the same sort of support and encouragement is what the pastor
would hopefully extend to a member of his congregation if a similar snafu had
been made.
The taxing and demanding role of a pastor can leave them
drained at the end of the day. The exorbitant amount of good they have done
throughout the day can leave them feeling as if they deserve a special treat.
For some, that treat is pornography and they may approach it with an air of
entitlement. They may not even care what the consequences of their actions may
be as they become so focused on meeting the present specific need (Laaser &
Gregoire, 2003). This approach also demonstrates a flawed view of how the
pastor views his needs being met. Rather than seeking to find his needs met
within his relationship with God, he is looking to himself to meet those needs,
which is an inaccurate thought pattern. The absence of a strong relationship
with God leaves the pastor searching for meaningful relationships elsewhere. According
to
Balswick (2008) “A
strong relationship has been found between the consumption of Internet
pornography and loneliness.” The flawed approach the pastor exercises in
meeting his own needs fuels a postmodern ethos of ethics. Instead of developing
an ethic from convictions, society has undermined that approach and replaced it
with an ethcon, or ethics from consequences. An ethic from convictions, or
ethbel, which acts as a moral compass for what is right and wrong based upon
ones belief system would be a more appropriate approach to ethics (Rediger,
2003). The ethcon approach to ethics has crept into the church. Some pastors
view pornography as something which is permissible, provided they are not
caught, and see it as an appropriate method for meeting their own needs.
Pornography bankrupts the pastors’ spiritual sensitivity
and his relationship with God. Rediger (2003) states, “In organized religion we
are learning, through consequences, that sick sexuality generates sick
spirituality—and vice a versa.” The spiritual bankruptcy pastors’ experience
from viewing pornography will eventually impact their ministry. In fact,
viewing pornography establishes an idol in the heart causing pastors to wander
from seeking after God (Struthers, 2009). Pornography simply cannot coexist
with healthy spirituality because it is diametrically opposed to the very thing
God exemplifies. Within the context of healthy relationships, with God and
others, both our sexuality and spirituality can grow. According to Balswick
(2008), “Deeply embedded within each one of us is a divine longing for
wholeness that sends us reaching beyond ourselves to God and others.”
Unfortunately, many pastors have sought to fill that void with pornography
rather than genuine authentic relationships.
Treatment
“Neurological troughs
of depravity are rarely changed overnight, since they were not formed
overnight” (Struthers, 2009). Recovery from a pornography addiction will be a
long road, but one that is made possible through the blood of Jesus and others
who are willing to work with the individual as long as he recognizes his need
for help. Pornography has such a powerfully negative impact on the user that
they can be left with the feeling that they are “beyond spiritual restoration.”
This is especially true for pastors who tend to believe they have failed God
and are beyond restoration (Struthers, 2009). The truth of the gospel cuts
through this lie, shining a ray of hope for anyone trapped in pornography. The
rewiring of the brain will take time and effort, but there is always hope. Within
therapy, hope is an essential message the therapist must communicate with the
client tempered with the reality of the uphill battle. Pastors especially will
bear a weight of guilt beyond just using pornography. Processing the pain they
have caused others and the grief of what they have lost is an appropriate goal
within counseling. Within counseling, the therapist must understand the impact
the pastoral role has upon his client. For pastors coming for counseling their
role is “sui generis, for it is the
only profession that wraps personal identity, professional identity, and
religious [identity] all in the same package” (Rediger, 2003). The complex
nature of a pastoral role presents a significant amount of work for the
therapist as he begins to peel back the layers from this unique vocation. Additionally,
when pastors come for counseling, their own individual struggles are what
brought them. Sometimes their role can heighten the attention given them
(Rediger, 2003). Knowledge of the occupation of the client would help the
counselor guard themselves within the therapeutic relationship. The pastor
within counseling should not be treated differently than any other client.
As is true with any presenting issue, but especially for
pornography use, the client must come to a point where they recognize there is
a problem with their behavior. Without admitting an issue exists, true healing
cannot take place (Struthers, 2009). Sadly enough, the normalization of the use
of pornography clouds this issue causing many men to believe using it is normal.
It is not until significant consequences arise, such as job loss or threats of
divorce which allow the client to grasp the stark reality of their addiction.
This is also when pastors appropriately fit the definition for an addiction to
pornography. Another key component which allows healing to take place would be
the addicts’ recognition of their need for God. This realization is further
cemented when they realize without God any lasting change becomes suspect
(Struthers, 2009). The development of a deeper spiritual relationship with God
will fortify the pastor during the battle with this powerful addiction. Shame
acts as an insurmountable barrier to healing anchoring the addict to the belief
that because they are unable to resist the urge to act on pornography, they
must be intricately flawed (Struthers, 2009). In reality they are not flawed,
but due to the strength of the neural connections within their brains’ they
fall prey to this false belief. A skillful counselor will need to undermine
this barrier allowing truth and hope to set them free.
A pastor, in his depravity and in an effort to
blame-shift once he is caught in pornography, may communicate his
dissatisfaction with his wife as the reason for why he became addicted to porn.
In actuality, poor choices, the blurring of boundaries and an emphasis on the
pastor’s own satisfaction are what played into his choice. As Laaser &
Gregoire (2003) noted, “It is not troubled marriages that lead to Internet
addiction, but Internet addiction that has negative effects on marriage.” The
effects of pornography have devastating effects on marriages, not the least of
which is the breach of trust between the pastor and his spouse which must be repaired if there is
any hope of the marriage being saved. Marriage therapy would be an appropriate
setting for the rebuilding of this trust relationship, even if the spouses eventually
decide to part ways (Friberg, Hopkins, & Laaser, 1995). A radical shift in
communication and a willingness to be vulnerable within the marriage is crucial
for restoration to take place. In fact, when working with the spouse of a
pastor who has become addicted to pornography, “counseling, which encourages
true vulnerability and teaches addicts how to express their feelings, is
essential” (Laaser & Gregoire, 2003). The pastor has not been living a life
of authenticity or vulnerability with his spouse, which is why a radical shift
from his previous way of communicating is so essential. The spouse has to be
able to believe her husband is being genuine otherwise he may slip back into
his old habits and patterns, and she will again be left in the dark. He has
been able to keep this from her. If he is drawn out emotionally, then his needs
are met in such a way which no longer allows pornography to hold such sway.
At some level the pastor will need to come to a point of
forgiving himself, but according to Laaser & Gregoire (2003) not too
quickly: “Forgiveness is an essential part of the healing process, but it must
come only after a time of recognition, emotional catharsis, including anger,
and healthy boundary setting.” If the pastor forgives himself too quickly, then
he is not allowing himself enough time to process through all the dimensions of
what his actions have done to himself, and to others. This is not necessary
from a standpoint of guilt or self-flagellation for failure, but rather for a
healthy recognition of the existence of consequences for his actions.
The stranglehold pornography has upon the pastor is
heightened by the secrecy and deception he has used to further his addiction.
Therefore, confession is one of the greatest weapons which can be
used against an addicts’ battle with pornography. This confession is not just
between God and the man, but rather between the addict and another man.
Revealing this struggle to another takes the teeth out of the isolation the
addict has struggled with for so long. They are no longer fighting this battle
alone. How this confession is made though has a huge impact on whether healing
can take place or not. A desire for change is crucial, as are recognizing the
wrong of pornography, owning it and choosing to move on within the confession
process (Struthers, 2009). An element which could increase change would be
recognizing triggers, or clues which indicate a specific behavior generally
follows. Recognizing triggers is especially important within the recovery
process. When one is able to recognize when a particular temptation comes, the
individual can redirect, move, change, or readjust in an effort to prevent
previous behavior from happening again. This recognition empowers the
recovering addict, rather than feeling as if they are out of control in this
area (Struthers, 2009). Control is an extremely important gift the counselor
can give back to the addict because so often within their addiction they are
out of control, and the client knows it. As the counselor works with the pastor,
they empower them with ideas, techniques, and suggestions. This grants the
client a greater measure of control within their recovery process.
As noted earlier, pastors can experience isolation and
loneliness while serving in a pastoral capacity which is why developing healthy
relationships becomes so important within the recovery process. Pastors who
have attended large Christian rallies for men confess several areas of need
within their profession. The most significant highlight is a tendency towards
“emotional isolation”. These pastors admitted they had no outlet and lacked the
necessary tools to deal with their emotional needs. The second relevant finding
was that these men were driven by their performance (Struthers,
2009). Research of this nature highlights the importance of vulnerability and
accountability within pastoral circles. Emotional vulnerability within the
context of healthy relationships will further their recovery because they will
have an outlet for emotional stress. Our lives are lived within a context of
relationships, some being healthy, and some not. For pastors caught in
pornography, their experience has not been of healthy relationships with
others. Encouraging them to develop meaningful, healthy relationships with
other men is an important part of their recovery (Laaser & Gregoire, 2003).
Developing these relationships allows them to experience accountability and
encourages them to be vulnerable within a safe context. Within their pastorate
another effective tool in the recovery process would be an intentional focus on
developing healthy relationships with others within the church. The development
of healthy relationships with others helps ground the pastor in the reality of
what authentic relationships look like, rather than developing an avenue for
inauthentic relationships to flourish (Rediger, 2003).
A version of the twelve-step recovery program has
demonstrated effectiveness when treating pornography or cybersex (Rediger, 2003).
The emphasis of group accountability, combined with a recognition of a higher
power are elements which explain why this treatment has been so successful. For
the pastor an additional building block would be his understanding of and dedication
to spiritual disciplines. Healthy habits which encourage prayer, fasting, and
meditation are important when facing an addiction to pornography (Rediger,
2003). Self-care is also an important part of treatment and is needed to strike
a healthy balance between pastoral ministry and the rest of life. The stresses
of ministry, which if not navigated with proper self-care, are the very things
which may leave the pastor vulnerable to the vice of pornography.
According to Rediger
(2003) “Pastors who are keeping themselves healthy in body-mind-spirit are much
less likely to commit boundary violations, and they are much more likely to
experience the joys of pastoring.” Health consists of every aspect of the human
body, not just physical health. As such, “holistic health will not become
wholistic health until spiritual health, mental health, and physical health are
seen as inextricably intertwined” (Rediger, 2003). Health must then take into
account all facets of the body not just physical health. Exercise though, would
be an appropriate intervention and important part of therapy because of the
emphasis it places on proper self-care within the arena of physical health.
Treatment of a pornography addiction will take time and
entails an extended period of time abstaining from the addictive behavior. According
to Laaser & Gregoire (2003) “Successful treatment would indicate that they
have demonstrated at least one year of sobriety from the addictive behavior.”
Demonstration of sobriety would also depend upon whether or not the pastor has
yielded himself to authority within his treatment, and has allowed himself to
become openly accountable to others (Laaser & Gregoire, 2003). Without the
support of others, he may very well fall back into his old patterns. However,
with their support he may continue to develop new neural circuitry which may
help him fight his future urges.
Contrary to the message of instant gratification, which has become so prevalent
in society, the forgotten concept of self-control is what we as believers are
called to, which includes our sexuality. Regardless of urges which are
perceived to be beyond our control, it is possible to steer this aspect of our
humanity (Struthers, 2009).
Faith
Perspective
I am a believer in and follower of Jesus Christ as the
Son of God. With that premise firmly established, the Word of God is an
important tool and avenue through which Jesus allows each one of us to learn to
know and please Him better as our Heavenly Bridegroom. The Word of God may not
implicitly address every issue or question we may come across in our modern
day, but I do believe principles are present which encourage us to understand the
Heart of God better. When the Word of God does speak on something, it is not
intended to be a friendly suggestion, but rather a command spoken from God
Almighty. It is not from the standpoint of judgment and shame if the
instruction is not followed, but meant as an expression of God’s infinite love
for His creation.
Within scripture there is no explicit command condemning
pornography, but the apostle Paul does seek to address this form of sexual
immorality with the Corinthian church. Paul reminds the church that their
bodies are not their own, rather they belong to God. He encourages them to flee
from this form of sexual immorality and that they should not go looking for
pornography. Finally he tells them they should repent if they fall (Struthers,
2009).
As in everything, God is not interested in the bare
minimum in our lives. Striking at the very heart of men as a gender, he
challenges their thoughts to remain pure. Society has successfully established
a fragmented approach towards what one thinks and ones actions, stressing there
is a difference. According to Struthers:
Purity is as much a matter of the mind as it is of the
body, and it is important not to separate the two. The thoughts we think affect
our body. The behaviors that we engage in affect our thinking. The
interaction between thought and body is rooted in the neurobiology of the
brain. Thoughts and behavior are woven together and intertwined with one
another. This is how pornography and unhealthy sexuality pollutes the brain and
the body together” (Struthers, 2009).
As a believer in Jesus I am called to a higher standard
of living than a nonbeliever. Additionally, as one called into ministry I am
doubly accountable for both my thoughts and actions. Examining this topic has
challenged me in several ways, the first of which is to strengthen my own
personal self-care both spiritually and physically. It has also opened my eyes
to the vulnerabilities I will be exposed to both in my role as a pastor and as
a counselor. Lastly, I have been given a better understanding and sensitivity
towards those caught in the trap of pornography. Without understanding this
topic I would have been one of those who encouraged greater grit and told
others to tough it out. Perhaps that may be an approach used at some point, but
I have to say my eyes have been opened to the neurological impact pornography
has on the brain. The illustration which sticks with me is the idea of a
superhighway with sound barriers along each side. As pornography is used, those
walls get higher and higher on each side of the neural pathways. There is hope
for those caught in pornography but it is a much steeper road than I would have
previously thought.
As a follower of
Jesus I believe habitual victory is possible. We may have the propensity to
sin, but that doesn’t mean we have to simply roll over when temptation comes.
Jesus didn’t die for me to sin some more, no rather He died for me to sin no
more. Holiness is the end goal, which will never be fully attained this side of
the grave, but it is something worth striving for. I appreciated the hope Struthers
gives to those caught in this most unholy addiction, because the neural pathways of the
brain can be rewired, with time and effort. Rather than giving into corruption,
if neural connections of holiness are created and reinforced, then new
superhighways can be created thus diverting traffic from the pornography
circuit. Sanctification, means becoming more and more like Jesus, which allows
neural holiness connections to become part of our very nature (Struthers, 2009)
As one headed into pastoral ministry I’ve found this
topic to be challenging, sobering, yet full of hope. I hadn’t realized the
impact pornography has on the brain, though I had some inkling of the impact it
has on other relationships. The research was sobering and is challenging me to
safe-guard myself with accountability, spiritual disciplines, and a greater
understanding of this topic. Lastly, I’m struck by the redemptive power God has
provided for us in Jesus Christ. Pornography and its insidious effects are
real, but so is the reality of the life-changing power there is in a relationship
with Jesus Christ. As believers we are not left to wallow where our wanderings
have left us, no, rather we are called higher, which is a reality full of hope!
Struthers put it well when he said, “The process of sanctification is an
addiction to holiness, a compulsive fixation on Christ and an impulsive pattern
of compassion, virtue and love. This is what we were wired for. This is what we
were meant for” (Struthers, 2009).
Conclusion
The issue of pastoral pornography use and addiction is on
the rise. With the increased availability of internet pornography, those within
church leadership circles need to become more aware of the vulnerability
pastors have for this particular vice. The church itself must shift the
expectations it places upon pastors and replace it with a paradigm where
mistakes are seen as
opportunities for growth, rather than an opportunity to “shoot [their] wounded”
(Nelson, 2003). Pastors’ desire to perform often leads them down the road of
pornography and inauthentic relationships. Those not in church leadership
should become more aware of this tendency, and work towards countering it. A
greater willingness towards accountability and the development of healthy
relationships from those in the pulpit would go a long ways towards preventing
pastoral sexual misconduct. Pastors rarely begin their ministry with the
intention of crashing and burning from a pornography addiction. However, the
slow steps which lead down that road can be foreseen and countered if both the
pastor and those around him are willing to see the warning signs. Regardless of
any previous leadership accountability paradigm, the vulnerability of a pastor
to participate in sexual misconduct has increased the necessity for a greater
emphasis on accountability and ethics from within the church (Gaede & Benyei,
2006). Ethics of this nature are not only represented by those within pastoral
authority, but also by church members. We are all called to a higher level of
accountability which means we are all responsible for the choices we make.
Pastors are also responsible for the choices they make, but that does not mean
we should leave them dangling in the wind.
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