Saturday, November 21, 2009
Shots of some friends
What would I do without friends and relationships here at school? I don't think I'd make it. Here are a couple of my close friends here at school. We're all in the same major, and hence have endured through most of the same classes together. They are my buddies in the trenches. Their names are E & D and I'm very grateful for their friendship! I love you guys (well actually girls)!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Troubling Question
Alright, I guess I should peel back the layers on myself a little bit. Some may know, or perhaps not, that I volunteer at a local rescue mission for my internship. Well as part of my internship experience there I "shadow" our evening counselor offering any assistance that I am able to. Believe me when I say there is a lot of degradation out there in this world and it is disheartening at times to be in the front lines observing people making the wrong choices.
Especially troubling for me this evening was a saga involving an individual who was as drunk as a skunk. No joke! His speech was slurred, he couldn't walk straight, and he continually repeated himself (several tell-tale signs of drunkenness). It was my responsibility to watch him after several failed attempts at getting him to sit in one place. (If individuals are deemed as a threat to others at the mission they are then asked to leave because it becomes a house safety issue). This guy was teetering along the edge of that line, but in an effort to extend grace, he was given multiple chances to satisfy the counselor on duty and be allowed to sleep at the mission for the night.
This man, even in an inebriated state could still talk and reason with some semblance of coherence. He kept reiterating how he was a Christian and he loved Jesus. Then he would ask me if I loved Jesus. I answered that I did. What struck me to the core of my being was the piteous state of his predicament. He loved Jesus, but his actions spoke louder than his words.
What really caught me off guard was once when he looked me straight in the eye and said, "You don't care about me." I really didn't know what to say. Yes, I did care about him. Otherwise I wouldn't have been talking to him in the first place. On the other hand, I did have to admit that I had a warm place to sleep at night, so therefore I couldn't empathize with him. In some respects I'm ashamed to admit that there were rumblings in my heart of frustration at him for making the choices he did to get him into that predicament in the first place. Why couldn't he simply say no to alcohol? Why couldn't he walk away from the bar before he became so drunk he could hardly walk? How could he say he loved Jesus and then act like this? I came to realize that night that I can't naturally love the people who make those choices. But through the power of the Holy Spirit I can learn to love them. It was almost as if he could see right into my heart and knew exactly what its condition was. Though drunk, I'll give him kudos for how perceptive he was and I was convicted as a result.
Eph. 5:18 talks about not becoming drunk with wine, but be filled with the spirit. As I observe what "drunk with wine" looks like in the lives of others, I'm reminded of how powerful the affects of addiction can be on each one of us. Idols in our lives of that magnitude HAVE to bow before the throne of Jesus. He doesn't compete with other idols in our lives. Yet there is grace if we come and humbly ask. What a powerful reminder through the lens of a drunk. I'm grateful he pierced right through me, because I needed it.
Especially troubling for me this evening was a saga involving an individual who was as drunk as a skunk. No joke! His speech was slurred, he couldn't walk straight, and he continually repeated himself (several tell-tale signs of drunkenness). It was my responsibility to watch him after several failed attempts at getting him to sit in one place. (If individuals are deemed as a threat to others at the mission they are then asked to leave because it becomes a house safety issue). This guy was teetering along the edge of that line, but in an effort to extend grace, he was given multiple chances to satisfy the counselor on duty and be allowed to sleep at the mission for the night.
This man, even in an inebriated state could still talk and reason with some semblance of coherence. He kept reiterating how he was a Christian and he loved Jesus. Then he would ask me if I loved Jesus. I answered that I did. What struck me to the core of my being was the piteous state of his predicament. He loved Jesus, but his actions spoke louder than his words.
What really caught me off guard was once when he looked me straight in the eye and said, "You don't care about me." I really didn't know what to say. Yes, I did care about him. Otherwise I wouldn't have been talking to him in the first place. On the other hand, I did have to admit that I had a warm place to sleep at night, so therefore I couldn't empathize with him. In some respects I'm ashamed to admit that there were rumblings in my heart of frustration at him for making the choices he did to get him into that predicament in the first place. Why couldn't he simply say no to alcohol? Why couldn't he walk away from the bar before he became so drunk he could hardly walk? How could he say he loved Jesus and then act like this? I came to realize that night that I can't naturally love the people who make those choices. But through the power of the Holy Spirit I can learn to love them. It was almost as if he could see right into my heart and knew exactly what its condition was. Though drunk, I'll give him kudos for how perceptive he was and I was convicted as a result.
Eph. 5:18 talks about not becoming drunk with wine, but be filled with the spirit. As I observe what "drunk with wine" looks like in the lives of others, I'm reminded of how powerful the affects of addiction can be on each one of us. Idols in our lives of that magnitude HAVE to bow before the throne of Jesus. He doesn't compete with other idols in our lives. Yet there is grace if we come and humbly ask. What a powerful reminder through the lens of a drunk. I'm grateful he pierced right through me, because I needed it.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Recording
Why Hello There!
Boy am I tired. Why you may ask? Well I got from from recording a song with some friends a little while ago. The band is called Poormans Riches and it is headed by two very beautiful and talented sisters, who also happen to be identical twins. Alicia plays guitar and is the lead vocalist, and Renee plays piano and provides the background vocals. I feel extremely honored and privileged to work with them, as it is a joy to hang out with the band and simply be friends.
Dan D. is the electric guitarist, Ryan T. is the drummer and Nate S. plays the bass. Last night was an absolute blast as I got to spend time with the gang, simply getting to know them. Even though we attend the same college and occasionally play, well they play and I mix for them, it's pretty difficult to get to know them as individuals. Well while off recording, you sure get to know people a whole lot better. And what do I do you may ask? Well this time I was simply tagging along because I wanted to see what goes into a recording studio and how the whole process works. Though filled with information and fun times, I definitely learned that I enjoy mixing live sound much better than recorded sound. I'm sure I could learn how to do it and become proficient at it, but touring would be so much more enjoyable (at least so says the young buck right now). We'll see if God works it out so we can tour together, and then I'll get back to you whether or not, but that will be several years down the road.
God certainly helped the whole band out while recording Psalm 40, which was Alicia's original piece. We had some good prayer times trusting God for His best in this whole process. Overall the whole process went very smoothly and it was enjoyable for all! Praise God! And now we get to all go together and I get to "earn my money" (not really as this is a volunteer situation) mixing for them live tomorrow. I trust it goes well!
Here is Alicia enjoying herself on the drums!
Boy am I tired. Why you may ask? Well I got from from recording a song with some friends a little while ago. The band is called Poormans Riches and it is headed by two very beautiful and talented sisters, who also happen to be identical twins. Alicia plays guitar and is the lead vocalist, and Renee plays piano and provides the background vocals. I feel extremely honored and privileged to work with them, as it is a joy to hang out with the band and simply be friends.
Dan D. is the electric guitarist, Ryan T. is the drummer and Nate S. plays the bass. Last night was an absolute blast as I got to spend time with the gang, simply getting to know them. Even though we attend the same college and occasionally play, well they play and I mix for them, it's pretty difficult to get to know them as individuals. Well while off recording, you sure get to know people a whole lot better. And what do I do you may ask? Well this time I was simply tagging along because I wanted to see what goes into a recording studio and how the whole process works. Though filled with information and fun times, I definitely learned that I enjoy mixing live sound much better than recorded sound. I'm sure I could learn how to do it and become proficient at it, but touring would be so much more enjoyable (at least so says the young buck right now). We'll see if God works it out so we can tour together, and then I'll get back to you whether or not, but that will be several years down the road.
God certainly helped the whole band out while recording Psalm 40, which was Alicia's original piece. We had some good prayer times trusting God for His best in this whole process. Overall the whole process went very smoothly and it was enjoyable for all! Praise God! And now we get to all go together and I get to "earn my money" (not really as this is a volunteer situation) mixing for them live tomorrow. I trust it goes well!
Here is Alicia enjoying herself on the drums!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Vast
Oh how vast is the love of Christ! Inexpressible, uncontainable, overwhelming! Without that love failure, but through that grace we can rise! Out of the depths of despair and sorrow, soar through the clouds of tomorrow. Onward and upward ever closer, to the Lover of our souls. "Further up and further in" is the bellowing cry of my soul. How shall I overcome, though the thunder clouds roil? Through the love of a little lamb, whose blood full atonement makes. But this sacrifice nere would occur, if not for the vast love of Christ.
You may take that as you wish. It kinda was meant as a poem/offering of praise. I attended a David Crowder concert this evening, and though raucous at times, I was really blessed with the continual presentation of that theme. Yes, there is judgment mixed with love, but if not for Christs' love, He wouldn't have even bothered coming to earth. And though not a fuzzy feel good gospel, if we can't celebrate the true and pure love that Jesus Christ exhibited, what are we left with?
Lam. 3:22 says, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases..." I'm basking in that love tonight, and am finding the words of the hymn "Turn your eyes upon Jesus" to be oh, so true. "And the things of this world will grow strangely dim" when we turn our eyes upon Him.
You may take that as you wish. It kinda was meant as a poem/offering of praise. I attended a David Crowder concert this evening, and though raucous at times, I was really blessed with the continual presentation of that theme. Yes, there is judgment mixed with love, but if not for Christs' love, He wouldn't have even bothered coming to earth. And though not a fuzzy feel good gospel, if we can't celebrate the true and pure love that Jesus Christ exhibited, what are we left with?
Lam. 3:22 says, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases..." I'm basking in that love tonight, and am finding the words of the hymn "Turn your eyes upon Jesus" to be oh, so true. "And the things of this world will grow strangely dim" when we turn our eyes upon Him.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
People
People are so interesting. Here is a couple that were meandering through the Grand Plaz in Brussels, Belgium.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Wedding!!!!
Alright, don't get your hopes up faithful followers. (haha sarcasm) The wedding is not for me, but I am going to be a part of it!! And no, my siblings are not the proud recipients of this wedding congratulatory and excitement induced post.
I am going to be a groomsman! Yes, you read that correctly. Me, a strange and unusual fellow attending college here in the middle of the Eastern United States. My cousin J--- is the proud fellow who rang me up last night and asked me to be in his wedding party. I was absolutely honored!
The the brunt of the conversation started like this:
J: Do you know where you're going to be in March?
Me: No, not sure, could be anywhere.
J: Want to be one of my groomsmen?
Me: (Socks knocked off and lying littered on the floor). OF COURSE! I'D LOVE TO!
Although perhaps a little fabricated due to my short term memory loss, this was basically how the conversation went. It turns out J--- called me only half-an-hour after proposing, which I thought was incredibly sweet of him.
(I know if it was me, I doubt I'd be calling my wedding party quite that quickly, but each to his own). To his credit, it is true that the wedding is only four months off, so he wanted to let people know in plenty of time.
But then some horrifying thoughts began to creep into my mind. The dreaded word TUX should say it all. Hassle, consternation, and simple downright hassle! But all in all I'm thrilled because it should be a lot of fun, even if I have to fit into one of those "monkey-suits". Perhaps I'll just buy one of the darn things, since I may be using it a fair amount in the future (but then again that may be too conceited, so maybe I shouldn't). I guess I'll have to weigh my options as the time draws near.
That's all for now!
I am going to be a groomsman! Yes, you read that correctly. Me, a strange and unusual fellow attending college here in the middle of the Eastern United States. My cousin J--- is the proud fellow who rang me up last night and asked me to be in his wedding party. I was absolutely honored!
The the brunt of the conversation started like this:
J: Do you know where you're going to be in March?
Me: No, not sure, could be anywhere.
J: Want to be one of my groomsmen?
Me: (Socks knocked off and lying littered on the floor). OF COURSE! I'D LOVE TO!
Although perhaps a little fabricated due to my short term memory loss, this was basically how the conversation went. It turns out J--- called me only half-an-hour after proposing, which I thought was incredibly sweet of him.
(I know if it was me, I doubt I'd be calling my wedding party quite that quickly, but each to his own). To his credit, it is true that the wedding is only four months off, so he wanted to let people know in plenty of time.
But then some horrifying thoughts began to creep into my mind. The dreaded word TUX should say it all. Hassle, consternation, and simple downright hassle! But all in all I'm thrilled because it should be a lot of fun, even if I have to fit into one of those "monkey-suits". Perhaps I'll just buy one of the darn things, since I may be using it a fair amount in the future (but then again that may be too conceited, so maybe I shouldn't). I guess I'll have to weigh my options as the time draws near.
That's all for now!
Friends (listening)
What does it really mean to be a friend?
Something that has been knocking around my brain when trying to answer this question is the issue of vulnerability. Friends, or my definition of true friends, are people you feel you can be vulnerable with. For me that doesn't happen very often. Honestly, I'm the kind of guy who loves to talk but I don't usually simply pour forth my life story on first contact. Now I'm not saying that there are a lot of people who do pour forth on first contact, but its a perspective I've been considering.
Yet, neither am I the kind of guy who can simply sit there and never partake in the conversation. Recently I've been reminded that counselors (of which I'm studying to become one) are often stigmatized for simply wanting to "fix" people. Being perfectly honest I do have an element of that in me, but I'm not sitting quietly simply because I want to analyze or pick apart everything somebody says. I naturally DO enjoy listening to other people. Yes, I have problems and issues in my life as well, but my own issues are placed on the back-burner when listening to the struggles of others.
And if they feel comfortable around me to share what they are dealing with, who am I to barge ahead with my own issues? Is that one reason why I think God is directing me into the field of counseling? Absolutely! But that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy talking myself! I guess the whole point of some of this thought process has been to help me recognize that I need to be more vulnerable around other people. They are taking a chance on me so why can't I take a chance on them?
Another point of this post is to express my willingness to be vulnerable with other people. But often that vulnerability is on my own terms. Literally no question is off-limits with me. If somebody honestly asks the question I then know they want to hear the answer. So if you really want to get to know me ask questions. There are times that I will express my opinion without being asked, but for the most part, questions are the way to go with me.
Something that has been knocking around my brain when trying to answer this question is the issue of vulnerability. Friends, or my definition of true friends, are people you feel you can be vulnerable with. For me that doesn't happen very often. Honestly, I'm the kind of guy who loves to talk but I don't usually simply pour forth my life story on first contact. Now I'm not saying that there are a lot of people who do pour forth on first contact, but its a perspective I've been considering.
Yet, neither am I the kind of guy who can simply sit there and never partake in the conversation. Recently I've been reminded that counselors (of which I'm studying to become one) are often stigmatized for simply wanting to "fix" people. Being perfectly honest I do have an element of that in me, but I'm not sitting quietly simply because I want to analyze or pick apart everything somebody says. I naturally DO enjoy listening to other people. Yes, I have problems and issues in my life as well, but my own issues are placed on the back-burner when listening to the struggles of others.
And if they feel comfortable around me to share what they are dealing with, who am I to barge ahead with my own issues? Is that one reason why I think God is directing me into the field of counseling? Absolutely! But that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy talking myself! I guess the whole point of some of this thought process has been to help me recognize that I need to be more vulnerable around other people. They are taking a chance on me so why can't I take a chance on them?
Another point of this post is to express my willingness to be vulnerable with other people. But often that vulnerability is on my own terms. Literally no question is off-limits with me. If somebody honestly asks the question I then know they want to hear the answer. So if you really want to get to know me ask questions. There are times that I will express my opinion without being asked, but for the most part, questions are the way to go with me.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Blast from the past, but helpful reminder: Jesus Only
Wow, I'm on google searches! While trying to help a friend discover the riches of my writings, I decided to punch my name into Googlesearches, and Voila! Even I was surprised! The following was a testimony written several years ago, but it is still true today! Enjoy:
I'd like to take some time to tell you how God has been working in my heart during my time here at Bible School. The event of victory which I'd like to convey to you occurred during the September Convention of my second year. Before that time I valued relationships with other people above my relationship with God. I was jealous when I wasn't included in times of fun and fellowship, and sometimes this grew into bitterness. My incessant desire to be included in everything even started to frustrate my older brother because he felt bad when I was left out (partly because I'd put him on a guilt trip), but he wasn't going to stop being included himself (although he has sacrificed himself on occasion to my selfish, pig-headed, badgering). No resolution to this conflict seemed in sight..
I'd like to take some time to tell you how God has been working in my heart during my time here at Bible School. The event of victory which I'd like to convey to you occurred during the September Convention of my second year. Before that time I valued relationships with other people above my relationship with God. I was jealous when I wasn't included in times of fun and fellowship, and sometimes this grew into bitterness. My incessant desire to be included in everything even started to frustrate my older brother because he felt bad when I was left out (partly because I'd put him on a guilt trip), but he wasn't going to stop being included himself (although he has sacrificed himself on occasion to my selfish, pig-headed, badgering). No resolution to this conflict seemed in sight..
God was definitely trying to get my attention, but I was having none of it. Finally He sent along a pretty heavy rebuke in the form of a specific exclusion during the above mentioned time frame. A bunch of friends were going out and I wanted to tag along, but a respected elder friend very firmly told me "no." I was crushed, but you know what, sometimes those are the best times to flee to God. As I look back I can see this is exactly what God wanted. After they had departed I was moping a little and feeling bad for myself, so I decided to meander over to the graveside of a friend of mine named Andrew. There I talked to God and poured out all I was feeling (and that's not the only thing which poured). Feelings of dejection, depression, anger, and bitterness were beginning to take root. I decided after this experience that maybe relationships with other people were getting in the way of my relationship with God. I chose to give my relationships with other to God and asked Him to use them as He saw fit, realizing they are a gift from above. So often when we feel hurt or angered it is because we feel some right of ours has been violated, but relationships are not something we've earned, they're a privilege. Jesus changed my heart that night and gave me something infinitely more important than relationships with others, a deeper relationship with Him and his Holy Spirit. I also was given a sense of peace which is beyond stock market value. Yes, I was still hurt and left behind but that didn't really matter anymore. All that mattered was Jesus Christ and how much He loves me!
I think my desire to be included with others was a side effect of the insecure position I thought I was in. Jesus' love has banished (still some struggles from time to time) that insecurity. Now when times of perceived exclusion come along, my vision has been turned towards Jesus and I can recognize the work of His hand in my life and on my heart. It's almost as if I don't want to be included anymore. For anybody who knows me that is an extremely difficult thing for me to say, but I can say it because I know Jesus has something better for me in store and I'm looking forward to His continued work in my life. Now don't get the impression that I don't ever want to be included, but be encouraged not to feel bad for me when I'm not, because "For this I have Jesus." He trumps any other relationship out there!
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