False Beliefs #psychology #counseling Take #2

Sometimes blogger drives me nuts. I'm sorry for those who may have tried to read the post from last night and you were unable to easily see the content. What I meant to say is below.

• "I must be perfect."
• "I must have everyone's love and approval."
• "It is easier to avoid problems than to face them."

False beliefs. We all have them. They take root in our minds, hearts, and very belief structure. They poison our mind so we can't even really see through clear lenses to even know the glasses are fogged up. They are twisted minions of disaster. If they are not countered, challenged, gently addressed and corrected, then beliefs like the ones above can ruin relationships and lives. They can also become more deeply ingrained as we spend more and more time dwelling on what isn't true. A false belief I've struggled with is the fear that if everyone really knew me, then they wouldn't like me. No, I'm not talking about the casual, "Hey C how's it going?" I'm talking about really really knowing me. Vulnerability in that place can be extremely terrifying (and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who feels the same way). Therefore, at times I've pushed people away, or sought to present to them a front that either makes me look appealing, or at the very least hides who I believe I really am.

The thing is, no matter how hard we choose to believe the lies we've ended up telling ourselves, we're actually building on a foundation of matchsticks. A foundation which will quickly go up in smoke the moment a match is lit to those false beliefs. They can't stand the test of truth because they aren't true. 

After understanding the existence of false beliefs, the following words of Jesus take on a whole new meaning. "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free" (John 8:31-32). Truth sets us free! Truth counters the lies we've begun to believe to define us. You don't need to prove truth; you need to believe it. Countering false beliefs may take time and effort, but the truth is what will eventually cut through the tangle of lies we've gotten ourselves caught in. Truth statements are simple ways of checking the false thought and instead provide a source which we can let our mind dwell on, and as we do this, we are allowing our minds to become transformed. Scripture is full of great truth statements, but I'm going to only focus on one which may or may not be drawn directly from scripture. 

An example of a truth statement from my scenario is, "People really do love me. Letting them see who I really am will only deepen my appreciation for them and their love for me. Vulnerability is worth it."

What are a few examples of truth statements you could use to help counter the three false beliefs from above? Do you realize false beliefs, even in your own life, even exist? A lot of the time, false beliefs we hold are somehow connected to the fears we experience. Take a few moments to consider what makes you afraid, and then you might be able to tie it back to a belief you may hold about yourself or those around you. Let truth set you free today!

Clinton, T.E. & Ohlschlager, G. W. (2002). Competent Christian Counseling (1st ed.). Colorado Springs, Colo.: WaterBrook Press.

Information Overload & Start of "New" Series

Information is something we have gotten accustomed to reading, hearing, and seeing a lot of every day. So here I am in my little corner of Lancaster County, PA and I think to myself, "Why don't I do my part to flood your world with information as well." Some of the information will be intentionally comical. For example, when I give you a "useless fact" from the "book of useless information" and then proceed to make fun of it using various methods (making up a story, or creating a straw man from it, or some other sundry method for evoking a bark of laughter). Other times, I'll give you the information and make a spiritual lesson out of it perhaps even including a scriptural reference or two. I might even offer this piece of information and simply let you ponder the greater implications to your life and world. Regardless of the method used, my purpose is to have fun, increase our learning together, and to enjoy this short time we all have on this earth. Let's see how things go and take it from there. Who knows, I may never write a post like this again if the responses I get are so outraged. Then again, if you respond positively, I may be encouraged to continue my silly tirades.

Information taken from: The Book of Useless Information by Noel Botham & The Useless Information Society

Apparently, "George Washington was deathly afraid of being buried alive. After he died, he wanted to be laid out for three days just to be sure he was dead." Apart from the pun in this tidbit, I can't help make this one comical. I'm sure you probably found this out after the fact George, but when you're gone you're gone. Letting you lie around for three days would only enforce this fact by the assault you unleashed on our olfactory senses. Put bluntly, Yous would stink to high heeaaven attt that point! In all seriousness though, I hope to see you some day. Sincerely, me.

Have Patience, Have Patience, Don't Be In Such A Hurry

"Even if we forgo the heavy matters about goals, values, and eternity, the more mundane concerns about change still dog us. For some people, change is dramatic, sudden, and substantial, a hoped-for but often unexpected transformation or enlightenment that is miraculous (or at least described as miraculous). The rarity of such change, however, has been corrupted by our quick-fix, fast-food culture which expects change to always be instantaneous...What's more, many Christians carry this attitude and intertwine it with assumptions of miraculous and magic-like cures because they think God is committed above all else to their happiness." (Clinton & Ohlschlager, Competent Christian Counseling, 2001, p. 224).

Shnikes! This was written ten years ago?! If it wasn't for the fact that I can stare at the copyright date, I would have thought this was spoken about 2013. There are facets of this quote which I have no problem with, but then there is the part about believing 'that God is committed above all else to my happiness', and I hit the roof. The bad theology in the thought is appalling! [Disclaimer: I am in no wise making fun of or belittling the fact that God does still choose to miraculously heal hearts, lives, relationships, and I'm so grateful for the reality, but He chooses to do so on His terms, not ours]. It's almost as if change and healing has to take place because God doesn't want me to go through suffering, and He always wants me to be happy. I realize the quote doesn't go as far as I am, and therefore I'm setting up a "straw-man" but there may be some who take this thought to an extreme. Suffering is part of the life-of-faith. It may not be a glamorous portion that is toted as the greatest thing ever, but just because I'm not happy all the time or I experience pain doesn't then mean God isn't sovereign or good; He is.

For many, we crave the miraculous and quick healing that God can bring about. There is nothing wrong with praying and hoping for faster healing or quicker change, as long as we are yielded to the will and timing of God. We also need to realize instantaneous healing is the exception rather than the norm. As one who is headed into a field (counseling) where I'd love to see immediate results, I'm also writing this as a reminder for myself to recognize the reality check I'll face. Change takes time, work, effort, and the grace of God. I'm certainly not the One who will bring about lasting change, which is comforting. Ultimately, this waiting on change process is not about me. Rather it is about the glory of God because His timing and methods for imparting change are perfect. Therefore, I can have patience and am reminded to not be in such a hurry.