Balance #lifelesson

A life without balance is headed for the cliff of disaster.

Sounds as if one of the greats made that comment about a simple piece of equipment in a children's playground. I mean who would have ever thought such deep life lessons could be gleaned from such a simple contraption? None of the greats did make that statement as I made it up. I believe the sentiment to be true. Without ever increasing balance, my life would skitter out of control very quickly. 

The longer I live the more I come to recognize one of the advantages, and curses of my heritage. I'm proud to be a Sandford, but I never realized until recently just how hard we work. This is certainly not meant to discredit other hard working individuals, but the frenetic pace with which I live my life even spins my head sometimes. I've had a couple of my graduate school classmates marvel at the many "balls" I'm juggling (work, school, pastoral ministry, new father-hood, graduate intern, husband, other). What they don't realize is, I don't think I have a very good balance in my life. Oh, I may be juggling those balls successfully, but when it comes to quality rather than quantity even that may be a challenge for me to evaluate. This is something I recognize and am seeking to address. It's part of the life-process of evaluating priorities, and then sticking to them.

 At the same time, I enjoy keeping busy. Now I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with keeping busy. What I would state is the motivation for why you are keeping busy may reveal more tell-tale signs than one might like to admit. Again, this is an area where I will need to cut-back as too often my "busyness" is a product of my desire to perform for others (dangerous path to tread).

This teeter-totter serves as a reminder of the balance I need in my own life. I was in Jerusalem, Israel when I took this picture and even then the lesson of balance was very much on my mind. Balance is so tricky, yet it is of the utmost importance! Without it I can so easily overextend myself, and then I'm not much use to anyone. What are some ways you try to balance areas in your own life?

Everlasting Arms #Valentinesday

I'm enjoying fatherhood immensely. Then again, when I say immensely I'm referring to the lessons God continues to reveal to me about Himself through being a father to Gwyneth. 

This evening as we put Gwyneth to bed she really was not interested in settling down on our time-table. She fussed and cried enough after being in bed for a while to warrant some additional attention. Being the gallant hero I am, I figured I should be the one to help settle her down. So off to her room I traipsed, pulled out the rocking chair from the wall, and plopped myself down into its' depths with my fussy daughter. Because I didn't feel particularly keen on singing to her tonight, I decided to flip through some music located on the nearby iPod. Gwyneth's all-time favorite song is "Raven" by Jewell but I would enjoy seeing her begin to expand her music tastes. Not only is "Raven" a nonsensical song, but there are only so many times you can play a song on repeat before losing your mind (parents' amen here!). 

After flipping through a couple of different options such as the main theme to Braveheart, and Gabriel's Oboe played by Yo-Yo Ma, I finally landed on the last three songs from the Lord of the Rings Return of the King soundtrack. I love soundtracks, as evidenced by my modest collection of over thirty of them. Gwyneth quieted down but then decided she was not going to be ready to fall asleep for a while yet. I kept rocking away, hoping she would become drowsy soon. I knew I may not have had to stay rocking GJ for as long as I did but I wanted to listen to those three songs in their entirety, and I'm glad I did. 

As "Into the West" by Annie Lennox began, I was overcome with emotion as I rocked my precious daughter. I thought, "Here I am rocking my precious girl to sleep, and this is exactly what God does with me when my world appears to be turning upside down. Just as my arms are encircling her, warding off the night, monsters, or any harm from this little life, so God is doing the exact same thing with things in my own life. I may not always see his arms around me, yet nevertheless they never leave me alone." I could not stop the tears from welling up and washing away the false sense of security I tend to permit to creep around my soul. This is not the first time this realization has struck me. I may kick, scream, and struggle as the challenges of life are hurled at me but the arms of God never ever leave me alone. 

I'm not sure where you currently are in your life circumstances this day after Valentine's day. Perhaps you're desperately longing for the love and affection you've convinced yourself can only be found in a relationship with someone else. Perhaps you're in a relationship with someone, but you still feel lonely. Perhaps...(you fill in the blank). I've been where some of you are today. Believe me, I get it. What I forgot to see both then and now, are the faithful everlasting arms of a God who will never leave me alone. He will never leave you alone, in fact He is always with you! Take comfort in this reality regardless of your relationship status.

His arms never left me and His arms will never leave you.

(The) Good God

“Sabbath-keeping: check, Friday cleaning: check, Grocery shopping: check. Oh, hello. Welcome to this edition of the Friday e-mail. I’m reviewing my ‘to-do’ list and marking things off which I’ve completed this week. You know, I really enjoy ‘to-do’ lists because they act as a second-brain for me reminding me of tasks which I want to accomplish, but if I don’t write them down I might forget. Forgetting seems to be a malady of the human race and I’m certainly human.”

 “As I ponder it, the Sabbath is a reminder of sorts for me as well; a reminder of the goodness of God. I find I need this reminder, and need it often as my circumstances swirl around me. You see, for me anyway, if I’m not reminded of the goodness of God, then I can begin to question things as they come along. If I didn’t believe God was good and had my best interests at heart, then I’m more susceptible to the lies of the devil who desperately wants to shake my faith in my Good God. I’m not really interested in having that faith shaken, though testing it and strengthening it is something I believe God will do on occasion. Still, when those life events do come, and we all know they will, let’s find ourselves grounded on the truth that our God is Good.”

“The Sabbath is a great time to reflect on how good God really is. He knew I’d need a ‘recharge’ time every seven days. In our world of electronic devices I am becoming ever more cognizant of the need to recharge the batteries which run these devices. I think of airports and travel spots where it is not uncommon to see ‘charging stations’ available for every make of phone or gadget you could imagine. We were created in much the same way. We need time to recharge, reflect, take a break from work, and spend time with our Good God. He knew we’d fill up our days with profitable things so He built into our schedule an opportunity to meet with Him and recharge. If that is not the epitome of goodness, one looking out for the benefit of another, I’m not sure what is. In fact, I’d say it’s also an expression of His love for us. So not only is He good, but He loves us.” 

“May this Sabbath help bring to your mind the plethora of ways God has been showing you His goodness from this past week. Keep your eyes open for this reality, and never forget God is good!”

An Apology to Julian Fellows #Downton Abbey

I watched episode one from season four of Downton Abbey last night (I know! If I was truly a dedicated fan I would be all caught up by now; still better late than never), and I must say I'm pleasantly pleased with the direction the show appears to be headed. Of course, I suspect some twists and turns to come along this journey, but at the start of this season I must offer an apology to Julian Fellows (spoiler alert for those who have not seen the show up to this point, you may not want to continue reading). After the tragic passing of Matthew at the close of season three I seriously had my doubts regarding Fellows and his intelligence. "How on earth could you kill off such a sweet and essential character such as Matthew?!"

I was left with a sense of loathing and curiosity with the direction the next season would head, which as you can tell was enough to bring me back for another look. I think it a masterful move to not begin season four directly after the death of Matthew. Dropping your audience into such a scene of emotional wreckage would have been a tough introduction to any potential new viewers and would mainly have only connected with dedicated followers of the show. By extending the show to begin six months after the accident not only do you introduce an element of mystique regarding the past episodes (and encourage new viewers to go back before diving in any further), but Julian is also validating the closure his dedicated audience has arrived at since the end of last season. Kudos to him for his good sense.

The show still has the tantalizingly intriguing element of back-stabbing relationship dynamics within the characters at Downton to leave the audience taking sides and cheering on certain characters. Carson definitely comes across as a crotchety old-fogey but he has a heart of gold! I'm cheering Mary on and appreciate Branson more and more.

 

Marriage Minefield Lessons

The full credit for the idea behind this post goes to the musician Andrew Peterson. His song "Dancing in the Minefields" is what gave me the idea to write about some of my own lessons I've learned from marriage.

I've heard marriage referred to as hard. Before getting married I always thought, "Yeah right, it can't be that difficult. I mean I know I'll go through hard times, but it can't be that bad." Now I'm on the other side and looking back I can begin to grasp what was meant. Marriage isn't hard because of the arguments you have with your spouse, rather it is hard because of what you learn about yourself. Some individuals face the reality of who they really are and are unable to live with the consistent reminder of their own humanity. Others are able to admit their own inadequacies and are willing to change as an expression of love and sacrifice for their spouse. This process takes time but is worth it! I daresay I will be dancing in the minefield of marriage for the rest of my life.

Here are a few lessons I've learned so far:

1. I'm not as unselfish as I thought I was. This reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I honestly believed I was ready for marriage because I was able to put others' interests before my own (which is a good place to start). In order for change to begin I had to recognize the need for it. If you ask God to work He will, both in your circumstances and through your spouse to enact change.

2. It is alright to express what you do and don't like to your spouse. For some reason I thought it was only appropriate to tell my spouse the things I liked. "Well, what am I supposed to do with the other side of things?!" I believed I was meant to "stuff it" because that's what putting myself to death means, right? Perhaps, in part. Telling what you don't like to your spouse is the second-half of communication. Leaving your spouse with only half of the story will keep them guessing which will frustrate and inhibit the relationship (at least in my case it would).

I'm going to make mistakes, but I will see them as an opportunity for growth and not as a negative reflection.