The Prayer of Jabez Debunked

Google's search engine, when using the phrase "the prayer of Jabez" returns 289,000 results in a brief .42 seconds. A lot has been discussed, debated, and argued over this small prayer from 1 Chronicles 10:4. No doubt some also question the credibility of the concept surrounding the book entitled by the same name written by Bruce Wilkinson. When reading the prayer from my own personal scripture reading recently I came across an insight worthy of debunking the use of the prayer.

"He was the one who prayed to the God of Israel, 'Oh, that you would bless me and expand my territory! Please be with me in all that I do, and keep me from all trouble and pain!' And God granted him his request." 1 Chronicles 10:4 (NLT)

Most of the interest in the prayer stems from the concept of Jabez asking God to bless and expand his territory. At that point in history land was seen as a crucial identifier of a males' value to his family and society. Similarly this concept has been extrapolated out to mean the expansion of one's spiritual borders, physical borders, or even increased opportunities for ministry or financial prosperity. What I find most troubling though, is the connotation that one can treat God like a vending machine. If you put in a quarter, then out will pop the same amount of candy every time. There are principles God operates by but in the words of C.S. Lewis, "He's not a tame lion" and I daresay he is not prone to predictability in how He answers our prayers.

The insight I stumbled upon is built around the phrase "keep me from all trouble and pain" (some versions use the term "evil"). When I think back on prayers in my own life I can identify with the sentiment, so I can't blame Jabez for verbalizing his desire. Then again, I'm not sure Jabez knew what he was actually asking for. It sounds a lot like, "I don't want to experience anything which is difficult, painful, or which may be detrimental to me or my family." In other words, I don't want to experience suffering of any kind.

Suffering is not one of those subjects one takes lightly. It weighs heavily on both those going through it and for those who are helping the sufferers bear their pain (Galatians 6:2). I think of the Parker family during this difficult time and my role as one seeking to help bear their burdens from a distance through prayer. My heart breaks as I can only imagine the pain of what they are experiencing.

Turning back to what Jabez was really asking, in the midst of suffering is when Christians experience the palpable sweetness of the presence of Jesus in a way which cannot be compared to anything else. There is something about someone who is in the midst of suffering that acts as a magnet on God (something I can't explain, but I know we have all felt). As Psalm 34 reminds us:

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psa. 34:18 (NIV)  

I think back to the death of my friend and mentor Andrew Murray and remember it as a time of suffering. Suffering not only for me, but also to see his family grieve. Nevertheless, in the midst of the suffering, Jesus was there! I can't even explain the comfort and peace God gave as a result of that difficult experience. Suffering may not be a pleasant experience but it is one that brings us closer to God, and God closer to us.

So think again the next time you're tempted to pray the Prayer of Jabez. Would you really like to ask God to remove all suffering and difficult things from your life? As you look back at the times of suffering in your own life, consider the lessons you've been taught and the way God has still been at work. You need not pray for suffering because it will find you (fact). You needn't pray the Prayer of Jabez because through suffering you are brought closer to God.

#Jabez #suffering #prayer #BruceWilkinson #prayerofJabez

Marriage Tip #1

I'm so grateful to be married. I can't get over how blessed I am to walk through life with my best friend. Life is definitely better with the right someone (sidenote: if the right person hasn't come into your life yet, hang in there, and you can still benefit from reading further. I've been where you are, had lots of talks with God, and know what you're going through. I just wanted to say I'm not trying to be insensitive to your situation). With that being said, marriage is not easy. The "honey-moon" feel has long since worn off and there are days where it takes work, plain and simple. All the married couples reading this are nodding their heads in agreement, I guarantee it. If not, you've not been married very long and you'll get to the point where you'll agree with me eventually.

You'll hear it said that the most important component in a good marriage is communication. "Time out! Shouldn't God be the most important component of any marriage?!" I'm assuming we have already established God as the most integral part of any marriage. Similarly to how the Bible is consistently the New York Times bestselling book coming in at #1. Every. Single. Time. Because of that consistent fact, they've stopped reporting the Bible as the number one bestseller because it is a given. Back on track now: I don't know who said it, but they're right, you know, about the whole communication thing! The tricky part comes in when what you think you're saying isn't what your spouse is hearing (can I get an amen?). No matter how clearly you articulate your side of the argument your spouse still just doesn't seem to get it. If you're like me you may even begin to get wise to this fact ahead of time and try saying it a couple of different ways, just in case the first way didn't carry your point home. Still, sometimes even that tactic doesn't work. So now what? We're both frustrated, convinced we're right, and are hitting our communication glass-ceiling.

Then in comes the art of analogy! Using analogies to communicate was a strategy my wife and I recently discovered which really helped us through a communication tangle. We're still new to using it so I can't guarantee it will work every time or if it will work for every couple. Still, give it a try sometime, or tuck it into your marriage tips 'toolbag' for use at a later time.

 I found it extremely helpful right up front to ask who was who in the analogy so it could be unpacked with greater clarity. At first I was pretty skeptical using an analogy would be of much benefit. After identifying who my character was in the analogy, I was able to communicate deeper feelings and messages using the character from the analogy that resonated with both my spouse, and me. Think something along the lines of, "Oh yeah, that is what I meant to say, but I didn't even realize that is what I meant until now." Second, the analogy helps to create a shield around both parties. You know which character in the analogy is you, but because it's an analogy and therefore not real, you have enough separation to see yourself and the situation in an objective light. You can talk about the character in the analogy as if you're talking about a third-party which can be very enlightening for both parties. Finally, I would suggest bringing closure to using the analogy to communicate with your spouse by identifying yourself using "I" statements to connect with the analogy. In this way you're making a personal identification which has previously been unspoken, but using "I" statements to bring closure helps both parties to identify and take ownership of what is their responsibility.

As I said earlier, we're still new at using this type of communication with each other, but I'm looking forward to using it in the future to help open deeper opportunities to communicate with my spouse. Both to hear and to be heard. What are tips or suggestions you've found that have worked well for you and your spouse when it comes to improving your communication? Please join in!

Rained Blessings

Whoever said blog posts need to be long and tedious? I must admit this belief has played a large role in why I have not been more active in writing recently. "I don't have anything 'worth' sharing" or "writing can be so tedious and hardly anybody even reads my offerings anyway" have also been factors. The truth is, I have no idea who reads the content I publish, but I'm inclined to think more than I think. My motivation for writing should not be geared only towards those who read my content, but it does make a difference. If you're willing, would you please like the post, or comment within the blog when you see this published? Thanks for considering this request. Anyway, on to today's scenario.

My family has found ourselves gifted with a number of material blessings recently. It's almost comical when I stop to think about it. First, we were given a matching set of bar-stools. Not just any bar-stools mind you, but ones which perfectly match our kitchen and living room decor right down to the wood-grain. Second, a freezer was dropped into our laps (ouch!). Nothing mammoth mind you, but one which perfectly will meet our needs and fits very nicely in our basement. Third, we found ourselves the proud owners of a 1996 Honda Odyssey mini-van complete with stow-and-go back seats, power windows and locks, and a well-functioning air-conditioner. Did I mention this was a gift and we didn't pay a dime for the car initially? Fourth, and finally a new (to us) dining room set with four matching chairs with two-collapsible leaves. So now we are able to much more comfortably entertain friends and don't need to feel squished with food and four at the table. Phew! I'm floundering in blessings.

As I was toodling along on my way to work this past Tuesday, and reflecting on the above list of material-blessings I must admit my mind was not in a spiritual place. I was approaching the list from a carnal and materialistic mindset, although grateful for the items, when I was struck with a startling reality that shook me to the core! Almost all of those blessings which had been given to us were items my wife and I had prayed about over the last year or so!!! *blink* In fact, we were still praying for a couple of the items on the list. I was humbled by the significance of God's provision (and am so very grateful for others' generosity). It was a neat reminder to me of how I may forget about the things I've asked God for, but He doesn't forget, and he'll bring them along at the right time.

Now it's your turn to reflect. Take a few moments to think about the things you've been praying for and if and when God answered those prayers; you just might be surprised at what you discover.

Accessibility to Relationship(s)

Happy Sabbath Dear Friends,

                This past Sunday at Harvest View Chapel we examined Galatians 6:2 which says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” As we continued to unpack this verse we see there are two roles implied: the role of the “giver” and the role of the “receiver.” Paul, the author of Galatians, in his exhortation to the “giver” does not tell them how exactly they are to go about bearing the burdens of others, he just tells them it needs to be done. Similarly, Paul does not lay out a list of ways the “receiver” should let the “giver” help them bear their burdens, but the admonition is implied.

                In studying this passage, I was struck by the simple yet complex ways of giving and receiving help with our burdens. I believe at the top of the list of practical ways we can “bear one another’s burdens” both as the “giver” and the “receiver” is an intentional commitment to being accessible. I know, right?! Easy. Not as easy as you might think.

                I learned to love the Sabbath while growing up because of the picture of accessibility created by my family. Friday nights were a highlight for me because of the sweet fellowship, quality time, and adventures which were in store for my siblings and me. Welcoming the Sabbath with prayer, sweet singing, and an intentional attitude of gratefulness for God’s blessings were only the start! From there we might play games, hear a book read to us, learn something new from Daddy, or spend hours in discussions about a myriad of topics. Not only were my siblings accessible, but my parents were also there in tangible ways which has set the framework for our relationships today. I know my family is accessible because of the time spent with them and if I have a burden I know they will help bear it with fervor and unction.

I share this example of accessibility from my own life as an illustration the power of accessibility can have when our burdens increase. We each know of the burdens we are carrying. I daresay this email has conjured up a few in your own mind, and although my intent is not to weigh you down, perhaps this Sabbath is an opportunity to make yourself accessible as the “receiver” to those “givers” you know are waiting to readily help lighten your load. If we string this example out even further, what would you say your accessibility level is when it comes to your relationship with God? Perhaps this Sabbath is the perfect opportunity to reconnect and break down any walls you’ve let begin to develop; God is waiting on the other side. I know it’s one thing to talk about accessibility and another to show it. So, if you find yourself struggling to find someone who is willing to help bear your burdens, please reach out to me.

May you enjoy this Sabbath with full accessibility to the Throne of Grace and to others around you.  Make good use of the time.

In His Love,

Clyde