Troubling Question

Alright, I guess I should peel back the layers on myself a little bit. Some may know, or perhaps not, that I volunteer at a local rescue mission for my internship. Well as part of my internship experience there I "shadow" our evening counselor offering any assistance that I am able to. Believe me when I say there is a lot of degradation out there in this world and it is disheartening at times to be in the front lines observing people making the wrong choices.

Especially troubling for me this evening was a saga involving an individual who was as drunk as a skunk. No joke! His speech was slurred, he couldn't walk straight, and he continually repeated himself (several tell-tale signs of drunkenness). It was my responsibility to watch him after several failed attempts at getting him to sit in one place. (If individuals are deemed as a threat to others at the mission they are then asked to leave because it becomes a house safety issue). This guy was teetering along the edge of that line, but in an effort to extend grace, he was given multiple chances to satisfy the counselor on duty and be allowed to sleep at the mission for the night.

This man, even in an inebriated state could still talk and reason with some semblance of coherence. He kept reiterating how he was a Christian and he loved Jesus. Then he would ask me if I loved Jesus. I answered that I did. What struck me to the core of my being was the piteous state of his predicament. He loved Jesus, but his actions spoke louder than his words.

What really caught me off guard was once when he looked me straight in the eye and said, "You don't care about me." I really didn't know what to say. Yes, I did care about him. Otherwise I wouldn't have been talking to him in the first place. On the other hand, I did have to admit that I had a warm place to sleep at night, so therefore I couldn't empathize with him. In some respects I'm ashamed to admit that there were rumblings in my heart of frustration at him for making the choices he did to get him into that predicament in the first place. Why couldn't he simply say no to alcohol? Why couldn't he walk away from the bar before he became so drunk he could hardly walk? How could he say he loved Jesus and then act like this? I came to realize that night that I can't naturally love the people who make those choices. But through the power of the Holy Spirit I can learn to love them. It was almost as if he could see right into my heart and knew exactly what its condition was. Though drunk, I'll give him kudos for how perceptive he was and I was convicted as a result.

Eph. 5:18 talks about not becoming drunk with wine, but be filled with the spirit. As I observe what "drunk with wine" looks like in the lives of others, I'm reminded of how powerful the affects of addiction can be on each one of us. Idols in our lives of that magnitude HAVE to bow before the throne of Jesus. He doesn't compete with other idols in our lives. Yet there is grace if we come and humbly ask. What a powerful reminder through the lens of a drunk. I'm grateful he pierced right through me, because I needed it.